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Vihara => Open Vihara - [Offenes Vihara] => Topic started by: Dhammañāṇa on December 07, 2017, 10:39:58 PM

Title: [Q&A] Should I always put another person's interest before mine?
Post by: Dhammañāṇa on December 07, 2017, 10:39:58 PM
[Q&A] Should I always put another person's interest before mine?

Quote from: by Anca (https://buddhism.stackexchange.com/questions/11250/should-i-always-put-another-persons-interest-before-mine) on BSE
I try to become a kinder person. Sometimes I feel bad ( guilty) after not doing a service for someone, even if it's not in my benefit to do that thing. How can I understand when it's kindness toward another and when it's "stepping over me"?

Venerable members of the Sangha,
walking in front Fellows in leading the holly life.

  _/\_  _/\_  _/\_

In Respect of the Triple Gems, Buddha, Dhamma and Sangha, in Respect of the Elders of the community  _/\_ , my person tries to answer this question. Please, may all knowledgeable Venerables and Dhammika, out of compassion, correct my person, if something is not correct and fill also graps, if something is missing.

Valued Upasaka, Upasika, Aramika(inis),
dear Readers and Visitors,

 *sgift*

- Namo tassa bhagavato arahato sammā-sambuddhassa  -





Hard to find (http://zugangzureinsicht.org/html/tipitaka/an/an02/an02.119.than_en.html) but not impossible to become one noble attendant for your self at first place.

A matter of Saddha (conviction, faith) to put into unknown:

 

- Namo tassa bhagavato arahato sammā-sambuddhassa -

Even children and some pet animal, even though they cannot understand the first characteristics of saddha, will perform good deeds in emulation of their elders and teachers. So they will pay homage to the Ti Ratana (Three Jewels), offer alms, and do service to others. While doing such good deeds they enjoy the fruits of the second characteristics, clarity of mind. Even unbelievers sometimes do acts of generosity such as donations to social services, like hospitals, orphanage, homes for the aged, etc. and enjoy clarity of mind. -[/quote]

Service in Helping others (Veyyāvaca (http://zugangzureinsicht.org/html/lib/authors/wijesinghe/punna_en.html#chapter-5)) is one of the 10 meritorious deeds and belongs, if in the right frame, already to the virtue section of which is already a path element.

One can never to to much merits, if owning the requirments and as the Buddha told "don't be afraid of merits".

When is service an aspect of generousity and when an aspect of virtue, sila.

There where is a certain duty behind, there it is an aspect of right conduct. In cases where is no real duty, it's an aspect of generosity.

When service is done for a low reward, it might be better to speak of more or lesser good job or trade.

Service torward ones parents, helping relatives (http://zugangzureinsicht.org/html/tipitaka/kn/khp/khp.1-9.than_en.html#khp-5), torward ones teacher, and for those having found refuge in the three Gems, toward Buddha Dhamma, Sangha, all those who are worthy for sacrifies is service in the frame of the generosity of virtue and good conduct. Such is never wrong and will be always praised by the wisse.

To render service torward others is a matter of relationship and certain trade for pleasant livelihood and living. Being obligated and carefull torward the needs of others is a skillful virtue.

When a notion of "what's my benefit from it" arises or thoughts like "what has hegshe done for me before" arises, don't give anything into it. Only a small delay when skillful mind arises, and one has lost another change.

Aside in the frame of Sila (virtue) benefical service is not made if done in hope of reward or just as reward of something given before. So there will be no tips and not many guests around if drawing the simile to an attendant or waiter. Just "Businessas usual" does neither increase joy for one self nor for others. It's a poor life if one has nothing to attend or being devoted to. Even the Buddha, after awakening, all work done, no duties anywhere, saw that and devoted the remindings to serve the Dhamma, the truth, by his actions and teaching.
 

Namo tassa bhagavato arahato sammā-sambuddhassa

This was said by the Blessed One, said by the Arahant, so I have heard: "I am a brahman, responsive to requests, open-handed, bearing my last body, an unsurpassed doctor & surgeon. You are my children, my sons, born from my mouth, born of the Dhamma, created by the Dhamma, heirs to the Dhamma, not heirs in material things.

"There are these two kinds of gifts: a gift of material things & a gift of the Dhamma. Of the two, this is supreme: a gift of the Dhamma.

"There are these two kinds of sharing: sharing of material things & sharing of the Dhamma. Of the two, this is supreme: sharing of the Dhamma.

"There are these two kinds of assistance: assistance with material things & assistance with the Dhamma. Of the two, this is supreme: help with the Dhamma.

"There are these two kinds of mass-donations: a mass-donation of material things & a mass-donation of the Dhamma. Of the two, this is supreme: a mass-donation of the Dhamma."

He who, unstinting,
  made the mass-donation of Dhamma,
  the Tathagata,
  sympathetic to all beings:
      to one of that sort
  — the best of beings, human & divine —
  living beings pay homage —
      to one gone
      to the beyond
      of becoming.
Quote from: Iti 100 (http://zugangzureinsicht.org/html/tipitaka/kn/iti/iti.4.100-112.than_en.html#iti-100)

Once one has done ones duties, once having given into generosity, one is therefore out of remorse, has objects to rejoice and is able to gain concentration and releasing insight.

For one not given into generosity and virtue, live is full of remorse, hard and not easy at ease and right concentration can not be attained, so no release can be found.

As for rendering service for them aside of those always worthy of service, and aside of services as a duty, the proper time (http://zugangzureinsicht.org/html/tipitaka/an/an05/an05.036.than_en.html), circumstance, is of use to invest not into hindering binding. The four circumstances are:
  • for one arriving (new)
  • for one leaving
  • for one ill (handicapped)
  • for one lacking food (in search for basic requirements to maintain his/her existence)

Doing just service and help, assisting good deeds, might bring even more fruits as material share:
 
Quote from: Abhidhamma in daily life (http://forum.sangham.net/index.php?action=tpmod;dl=item134)
If you have goodwill and true cetana in giving voluntary service benefits may be greater than those of the actual donor. For instance, in Buddha's time there was a governor named Payasi, who was a heretic but became a believer of the Dhamma due to the teachings of Venerable Kumara Kassapa. This Payasi performed charity and alms-giving regularly. But he did not do the good deed himself. Instead he delegated Uttara a young lad to offer alms-food to Bhikkhus. Although Uttara was acting on behalf of the governor, he put all his heart and soul in the alms giving. When both the governor and the servant died, the former was reborn in Catumaharajika - the lowest of the six celestial abodes; the latter was reborn in Tavatimsa, which is higher than Catumaharajika. 

There is, at the end here, an inspiring story about the untouchability of skillful rendering service in a Jataka story (http://zugangzureinsicht.org/html/tipitaka/kn/j/j01/j031_en.html), on building "a street to heaven".

Generosity and Virtue are real treasures:

 

- Namo tassa bhagavato arahato sammā-sambuddhassa -

There is the case of a disciple of the noble ones, his awareness cleansed of the stain of stinginess, living at home, freely generous, openhanded, delighting in being magnanimous, responsive to requests, delighting in the distribution of alms. This is called the treasure of generosity.[/quote]

Note that generosity is actually the last before the highest treasure, so nothing orinary mind is able to.

May nobody ever lacks of the oppotunity to render service for something worthy to attend to, never lacks of objects worthy for devotion and sacrifies. May this world never be void of the great field of merits for the future generations.