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Talkbox

Like when enter or join, a shrine, another's sphere, or back: good for greating, bye, veneration, short talks, quick help. Some infos on regards .


2024 Feb 24 06:42:35
Dhammañāṇa: A blessed Māgha Pūjā and Full moon Uposatha with much reason for good recallings of goodness.

2024 Feb 24 01:50:55
blazer: Bhante Dhammañāṇa  _/\_ _/\_ _/\_

2024 Feb 23 06:39:57
Dhammañāṇa: Nyom

2024 Feb 23 00:19:58
blazer: Taken flu again... at least leg pain has been better managed since many weeks and it's the greatest benefit. Hope Bhante Dhammañāṇa is fine  _/\_ _/\_ _/\_

2024 Feb 18 01:06:43
blazer:  _/\_ _/\_ _/\_

2024 Feb 18 00:02:37
អរិយវង្ស:  _/\_ _/\_ _/\_

2024 Feb 17 18:47:31
Dhammañāṇa: A blessed rest of todays Sila-day.

2024 Feb 17 18:46:59
Dhammañāṇa: Chau Marco, chau...

2024 Feb 16 23:32:59
blazer: Just ended important burocratic and medical stuff. I will check for a flight for Cambodia soon  _/\_

2024 Feb 09 16:08:32
blazer:  _/\_ _/\_ _/\_

2024 Feb 09 12:17:31
អរិយវង្ស:  _/\_ _/\_ _/\_

2024 Feb 09 06:42:17
Dhammañāṇa: May all spend a blessed New moon Uposatha and last day of the Chinese year of the rabbit, entering the Year of the Naga wisely.

2024 Feb 02 21:17:28
អរិយវង្ស:  _/\_ _/\_ _/\_

2024 Feb 02 19:53:28
Dhammañāṇa: May all have the possibility to spend a pleasing rest of Sila day, having given goodness and spend a faultless day.

2024 Jan 26 14:40:25
អរិយវង្ស:  _/\_ _/\_ _/\_

2024 Jan 25 10:02:46
Dhammañāṇa: May all spend a blessed Full moon Uposatha.

2024 Jan 11 06:37:21
អរិយវង្ស:  _/\_ _/\_ _/\_

2024 Jan 07 06:31:20
Dhammañāṇa: May many, by skilful deeds,  go for real and lasting independence today

2024 Jan 06 18:00:36
អរិយវង្ស:  _/\_ _/\_ _/\_

2024 Jan 04 16:57:17
blazer:  _/\_ _/\_ _/\_

2024 Jan 04 12:33:08
Dhammañāṇa: A blessed Sila-day, full of metta in thoughts, speech and deeds.

2023 Dec 30 20:21:07
អរិយវង្ស:  _/\_ _/\_ _/\_

2023 Dec 27 23:18:38
Dhammañāṇa: May the rest of a bright full moon Uposatha serve many as a blessed day of good deeds.

2023 Dec 26 23:12:17
blazer:  _/\_ _/\_ _/\_

2023 Dec 24 16:52:50
Dhammañāṇa: May all who celebrated the birth of their prophet, declaring them his ideas of reaching the Brahma realm, spend peaceful days with family and reflect the goodness near around them, virtuous, generously.

2023 Dec 20 21:36:37
blazer:  _/\_ _/\_ _/\_

2023 Dec 20 06:54:09
Dhammañāṇa: A blessed Sila day, by conducting in peacefull manners.

2023 Dec 12 23:45:24
blazer:  _/\_

2023 Dec 12 20:34:26
Dhammañāṇa: choice, yes  :)

2023 Dec 12 13:23:35
blazer: If meaning freedom of choice i understand and agree

2023 Dec 12 12:48:42
blazer:  _/\_ _/\_ _/\_

2023 Dec 12 06:13:23
Dhammañāṇa: May all spend a great New Moon Uposatha, following the conducts of the Arahats.

2023 Dec 10 12:51:16
Dhammañāṇa: The more freedom of joice, the more troubled in regard of what's right, what's wrong. My person does not say that people at large are prepared for freedom of joice even a little.

2023 Dec 10 10:59:42
blazer: Hope they eat more mindfully than how they talk. It is clear for the gross food, we had more than a talk about this topic. I have put so much effort in mindful eating at the temple, but when i was back i wanted more refined food. I was used to get a choice of more than 10 dishes every day

2023 Dec 10 06:57:44
Dhammañāṇa: A person eating on unskilled thoughts will last defiled, Nyom. Gross food does nothing for purification at all.

2023 Dec 09 21:41:58
blazer: I've had a couple of not nice experiences with monks that were not so pure in my opinion. They surely eat far better than me at temple.

2023 Dec 09 21:41:41
blazer: Ven. Johann  _/\_ _/\_ _/\_

2023 Dec 09 11:38:36
Dhammañāṇa: Spiritual prostitution, just another way of livelihood.

2023 Dec 05 20:59:38
Dhammañāṇa: May all spend a pleasing rest of Sila-day.

2023 Nov 27 14:47:22
អរិយវង្ស:   _/\_ _/\__/\_

2023 Nov 27 05:41:32
Dhammañāṇa: May all spend a blessed Anapanasati- Fullmoon and reflect the goodness of Ven Sāriputta as well today.

2023 Nov 20 19:18:13
អរិយវង្ស:  _/\_ _/\_ _/\_

2023 Nov 20 18:20:15
Dhammañāṇa: May all spend a pleasing rest of Sila-day.

2023 Nov 20 02:48:24
Moritz: Hello _/\_ Still possible to join: An-other Journey into the East 2023/24

2023 Nov 18 13:55:11
blazer: Hello everyone  _/\_ _/\_ _/\_

2023 Nov 12 01:09:01
Dhammañāṇa: Nyom

2023 Nov 12 00:45:21
Moritz: Vandami Bhante _/\_ _/\_ _/\_

2023 Nov 09 19:42:10
អរិយវង្ស:  _/\_ _/\_ _/\_

2023 Nov 09 07:17:02
Dhammañāṇa: សិលា​នាំ​ទៅ​រក​ឯករាជ្យ​នៃ​ជាតិ! សូមឱ្យមនុស្សជាច្រើនប្រារព្ធទិវាឯករាជ្យ(ពី)ជាតិ។

2023 Nov 09 07:06:56
Dhammañāṇa: Sila leads to independence of Jati! May many observe a conductive Independence day.

2023 Nov 07 00:54:02
Dhammañāṇa: Nyoum

2023 Nov 07 00:39:55
Moritz: Vandami Bhante _/\_ _/\_ _/\_

2023 Nov 06 15:47:51
អរិយវង្ស:  _/\_ _/\_ _/\_

2023 Nov 06 12:21:27
Dhammañāṇa: A blessed Sila observation day today.

2023 Oct 30 15:17:36
Dhammañāṇa: It's common in to give up that what's given to do assist me toward release, common that seeking security in what binds.

2023 Oct 30 13:22:27
អរិយវង្ស: ព្រះអង្គ :) កូណាលុប delta chat ហើយ :D _/\_ _/\_ _/\_

2023 Oct 23 18:56:09
អរិយវង្ស:  _/\_ _/\_ _/\_

2023 Oct 22 20:36:01
Dhammañāṇa: May all spend a pleasing rest of this Sila-day.

2023 Oct 19 20:31:12
Dhammañāṇa: Nyom Sreyneang

2023 Oct 15 07:07:01
អរិយវង្ស:  _/\_ _/\_ _/\_

2023 Oct 14 06:53:21
Dhammañāṇa: May all spend a New moon Uposatha based on goodwill for all, find seclusion in the middle of family duties.

2023 Sep 29 07:35:30
blazer:  _/\_ _/\_ _/\_

2023 Sep 29 07:23:47
អរិយវង្ស:  _/\_ _/\_ _/\_

2023 Sep 29 07:03:11
Dhammañāṇa: A blessed full moon Uposatha and begin of the ancestor weeks by lived metta and virtue: lived gratitude toward all being, toward one self.

2023 Sep 22 22:07:43
Dhammañāṇa: If no rush turn toward reducing sensuality and make Silas the top of priority, it's to fear that an Atomic conflic will be chosen soon, in the battle of control of the "drugs".

2023 Sep 22 14:59:39
អរិយវង្ស:  _/\_ _/\_ _/\_

2023 Sep 22 06:35:51
Dhammañāṇa: A blessed Uposatha Observance on this Sila-day, by conducting similar the Arahats.

2023 Sep 16 19:29:27
blazer: Ven. Johann  _/\_ _/\_ _/\_

2023 Sep 16 19:29:13
blazer: Hello everyone! I've just come back home. I had a long trip and no sleep for more than 30 hours, but currently feel quite good. I've had a good experience, i'm happy. I've found out much inspiration and many ideas about the training and the holy life. I'll recollect and write about them as soon as i've taken some rest. Hope to find you all well and in good health  _/\_ _/\_ _/\_

2023 Sep 15 05:25:24
អរិយវង្ស:  _/\_ _/\_ _/\_

2023 Sep 14 21:09:49
Dhammañāṇa: A blessed rest of New moon Uposatha today (later as no connection before).

2023 Sep 10 01:55:47
អរិយវង្ស:  _/\_ _/\_ _/\_?

2023 Sep 09 18:52:54
Dhammañāṇa: No existence, no 'way of life', can excel the finally journey, just 'busy' in given away all of what ever made one's own. A total remorse-less existence. May many go for it, and see the way toward the deathless, no more worry of past, future and present as well.

2023 Sep 09 18:52:28
Dhammañāṇa: No existence, no 'way of life', can excel the finally journey, just 'busy' in given away all of what ever made one's own. A total remorse-less existence. May many go for it, and see the way toward the deathless, no more worry of past, future and present as well.

2023 Sep 08 06:19:20
Dhammañāṇa: A blessed Sila day, by maintaining goodwill toward all, not only by deeds and speech, but with nine factors, incl. a mind full of metta.

2023 Sep 01 10:54:43
អរិយវង្ស: សាធុ សាធុ សាធុ _/\_ _/\_ _/\_

2023 Sep 01 09:21:09
Dhammañāṇa:  “This verse was stated by earlier worthy ones, fully self-awakened:    Freedom from disease: the foremost good fortune. Unbinding: the foremost ease. The eightfold: the foremost of paths going to the Deathless, Secure.

2023 Sep 01 09:19:23
Dhammañāṇa: 'Ārogyaparamā lābhā nibbānaṃ paramaṃ sukhaṃ, Aṭṭhaṅgiko ca maggānaṃ khemaṃ amatagāmina'nti.   អារោគ្យបរមា លាភា និព្ពានំ បរមំ សុខំ អដ្ថងិកោ ច មគ្គានំ ខេមំ អមតគាមិន នតិ។  លាភទាំងឡាយ មានការមិនមានរោគ ដ៏ប្រសើរបំផុត ព្រះនិព្វាន ជាសុខដ៏ឧត្តម មគ្គប្រកបដោយអង្គ៨ ដ៏ក្សេមក្សាន្តជាងមគ្គទាំងឡាយ សម្រាប់ដំណើរ ទៅកាន់​ព្រះនិព្វាន ឈ្មោះអមតៈ។

2023 Aug 31 06:30:11
អរិយវង្ស: សាធុ សាធុ សាធុ _/\_ _/\_ _/\_

2023 Aug 31 06:08:15
Dhammañāṇa: A blessed Fullmoon Uposatha, following the Arahats conducts.

2023 Aug 30 20:19:25
Dhammañāṇa: Nyom

2023 Aug 30 18:39:38
blazer: Hello everyone  _/\_ _/\_ _/\_

2023 Aug 24 19:56:43
Dhammañāṇa: Sadhu, Sadhu and mudita

2023 Aug 24 19:45:08
អរិយវង្ស: កូណា បាននាំគ្រួសាររក្សាសីល8ក្នុងថ្ងៃនេះ _/\_ _/\_ _/\_😌

2023 Aug 24 18:31:04
អរិយវង្ស: សាធុ សាធុ សាធុ _/\_ _/\_ _/\_

2023 Aug 24 18:08:32
Dhammañāṇa: Message in the morning didn't arise... so a later: blessed rest of a good conducted Sila day.

2023 Aug 16 10:26:38
អរិយវង្ស: សាធុ សាធុ សាធុ _/\_ _/\_ _/\_

2023 Aug 16 06:39:11
Dhammañāṇa: A blessed, peaceful, New Moon Uposatha, caused by metta-Citta.

2023 Aug 09 10:02:14
អរិយវង្ស: សាធុ សាធុ សាធុ _/\_ _/\_ _/\_

2023 Aug 09 06:08:53
Dhammañāṇa: May all spend a blessed Sila day by observing the conducts of the Arahats.

2023 Aug 02 19:15:32
Dhammañāṇa: May all Venerables have found a. suitable place for this Vassa, conductive for the sake of the deathless, and may all dwell conflictless, supported by admirable friends.

2023 Aug 01 13:39:35
blazer: Hello everyone  _/\_ _/\_ _/\_

2023 Aug 01 07:03:18
Dhammañāṇa: A blesser Asalha-Puja, Dhamma day Full moon Uposatha. May all Venerables have found, find, a perfect place for their victorious Vassa. May all spend a blessend Uposatha and nobody get hurt on the lanes of rushing travels.

2023 Jul 26 18:11:11
Dhammañāṇa: May all spend a blessed rest of Sila-day today.

2023 Jul 24 18:01:06
blazer: For sure it would be! I've found good of having allayed the pain and being able to move

2023 Jul 23 17:40:26
Dhammañāṇa: A finally good news would be declaring of patgs and fruit attainments, with Arahataphalla as peak.

2023 Jul 23 17:39:09
Dhammañāṇa: Finally?  :)

2023 Jul 23 09:44:43
blazer: Thanks Ven. Johann  _/\_ _/\_ _/\_ Finally i have a few good news. Will write about tomorrow

2023 Jul 22 19:41:41
Dhammañāṇa: A good time, and so a good morning, Nyom.

2023 Jul 22 09:12:47
blazer: Good morning everyone  _/\_ _/\_ _/\_

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Author Topic: Gratitude toward 'enemies'  (Read 674 times)

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Offline blazer

  • Sanghamitta
  • Active Member
  • *
  • Sadhu! or +4/-0
  • Gender: Male
Gratitude toward 'enemies'
« on: January 18, 2023, 12:21:36 AM »
The last years, before April, i have encountered many people.
With two of them, a woman and a man, i have spent time.
I had serious conflicts with them: they looked as friends, but actually acted very bad repeatedly based on their supermassive ego. I had so much loss and suffering because of them.

At a certain point i decided to hit their ego strong by showing them the truth.
One is scared now, the other would like to be my friend again.

Three points
1) i struggle to forgive or have much compassion toward those people. I mean, it could be ok to say "let them have their life away from here" another is "i love them". I'm quite sure i would not like to have them near me as they use to make people suffer, far better to keep them away
2) i have always been available to forgive them only in the case they would have admitted every selfish word/action, which is not the case
3) i have seen in them certain useful qualities which i studied and learned. Obviously they were not aware of it. Should i be grateful to them for it?

I must admit i liked to see that one of them is falling fast, probably as consequence of unlimited ego and extremely harmful behaviors. Anyway, i'm sure i would prefer this person to understand and to gain a better life, but it could be too unlikely since this person looks very corrupted to me.

During the period after april, when i had really nice concentration, i didn't think much (most probably not at all) about those experiences.
Was it the effect of concentration, or the effect of wisdom? Or both?
How one actually "change idea" many times about such things? At times it looks i have no anger and correct view, at times not.

It is not easy to fix this, any idea is welcome.
Thank you

 _/\_
« Last Edit: January 18, 2023, 02:28:51 AM by blazer »

Offline Dhammañāṇa

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Re: Gratitude toward 'enemies'
« Reply #1 on: January 18, 2023, 08:14:37 AM »
Nyom blazer ,

the desire to hold control over someone, others, is the very reason for ill-will, the opposite of metta, goodwill, and yes, ingratitude (wrong view), is the reason of desire to hold control.

Nice concentration, are like nice journeys. Concentration not based on right view, does not lead to right liberation.

Mudita, appreciate, acknowledge, the gains of all beings, not wishing them to be deprive from the fruits of good deeds they did in the past. Thats a Brahmavihara requiring firm right view, but will leave an opening to right equanimity, which does not harm.
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Offline blazer

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Re: Gratitude toward 'enemies'
« Reply #2 on: January 18, 2023, 09:32:35 PM »
Thank you,
that has been a fault of my personality since a very long time, i need to work on it.
I manage it in some way, but at times, when i'm not contented, that's one of the main defilements that arise in me.

Regarding spring, let me explain a point: it's easy to not think about control of others when you have everything you need, and i had. But it is not based on wisdom, it's based on the fact that i'm already happy.
So i guess i'm missing right view.

For fate, i encountered the friend after many months yesterday evening.
Ignored, but felt compassion after a while seeing him sad.
It's possible i'll decide to meet him very soon and try to fix some things, it will be for the good of both.
I'll continue working on it and write down updates.

 _/\_

Offline Dhammañāṇa

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Re: Gratitude toward 'enemies'
« Reply #3 on: January 18, 2023, 09:46:41 PM »
What, if Atma may ask, does Nyom blazer likes to fix? If done anything wrong, to let such be known, possible pardon, gives release on gratitude.

Holding together of what's subject to break apart, the stronger, the lesser metta. Giving freedom, one gains freedom, get's no more touched on Avijja, knowing it's not under one's control.

The Sublime Buddha told that good to use the 'small' amount of possibility to hold control, maintain control, is wise infested in upholding a mind of goodwill, the Brahmaviharas, toward all beings.

A mind released isn't bond, released by giving release, knowing how compound things come into being and are subject to decay.
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Offline blazer

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Re: Gratitude toward 'enemies'
« Reply #4 on: January 23, 2023, 07:38:23 PM »
Ven. Johann,
sorry for the late answer.
Your question was useful for further reflection.
Actually is very complicated to explain, there are a lot of reasons. I felt something was to "fix" but not totally sure of what. I guess, a reason is to not leave one in suffering, having compassion.
I had to say sorry for something, but was a very minor thing. More had to be done since the occasion was there.

Met him, done what has to be done, left him.
No intentions to bind to someone, at all.
Observing carefully, I've seen how an old friend, being corrupted, possibly more than before, is bounded to a dark destiny.

That gave me dispassion.
I have been through many friendships and i've seen so many friends decay because of their bad views and habits.
That is quite sad. And living here, almost noone has a chance of liberation, corruption is too much widespread.

 _/\_
« Last Edit: January 23, 2023, 07:53:08 PM by blazer »

Offline Dhammañāṇa

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Re: Gratitude toward 'enemies'
« Reply #5 on: January 23, 2023, 09:28:12 PM »
Who ever is still bond strong to sensuality, takes form, sound, smell, tast, bodily touch for real, own, a refuge, is bond to corrution.

While a person having seen that holding control over anything in the world, especially the 5 senses and their objects, isn't possible, no haven, might still be able to fall into corruption while not attentive, only one who has totally abound the bonds toward sensual world (non-returner), is free from ill-will, has goodwill all around in this world.

Good to be eager in going after being oneself still able to act corrupt, taking as much as possible effort to control ones mind that it would not leave the area of right view, gratitude, metta, Nyom blazer .
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Offline Dhammañāṇa

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Re: Gratitude toward 'enemies'
« Reply #6 on: February 08, 2023, 04:34:47 PM »
To make the topic complete: the attitude of one gone forth in regard of 'enemies' (of what such, of course could not see as enemies at all)

Namo tassa bhagavato arahato sammā-sambuddhassa

Punna Sutta: To Punna

Then Ven. Punna went to the Blessed One and on arrival, having bowed down to the Blessed One, sat to one side. As he was sitting there he said to the Blessed One, "It would be good if the Blessed One would teach me the Dhamma in brief so that, having heard the Dhamma from the Blessed One, I might dwell alone in seclusion: heedful, ardent, & resolute."

"There are, Punna, forms cognizable via the eye — agreeable, pleasing, charming, endearing, fostering desire, enticing. If a monk relishes them, welcomes them, and remains fastened to them, then in him — relishing them, welcoming them, and remaining fastened to them — there arises delight. From the origination of delight, I tell you, comes the origination of suffering and stress.

"There are sounds cognizable via the ear... aromas cognizable by the nose... flavors cognizable via the tongue... tactile sensations cognizable via the body...

"There are ideas cognizable via the intellect — agreeable, pleasing, charming, endearing, fostering desire, enticing. If a monk relishes them, welcomes them, and remains fastened to them, then in him — relishing them, welcoming them, and remaining fastened to them — there arises delight. From the origination of delight, I tell you, comes the origination of suffering and stress.

"There are forms cognizable via the eye — agreeable, pleasing, charming, endearing, fostering desire, enticing. If a monk does not relish them, welcome them, or remain fastened to them, then in him — not relishing them, not welcoming them, not remaining fastened to them — there arises no delight. From the cessation of delight, I tell you, comes the cessation of suffering and stress.

"There are sounds cognizable via the ear... aromas cognizable by the nose... flavors cognizable via the tongue... tactile sensations cognizable via the body...

"There are ideas cognizable via the intellect — agreeable, pleasing, charming, endearing, fostering desire, enticing. If a monk does not relish them, welcome them, or remain fastened to them, then in him — not relishing them, not welcoming them, not remaining fastened to them — there arises no delight. From the cessation of delight, I tell you, comes the cessation of suffering and stress. {By this means, Punna, you are not far from this doctrine and discipline."

When this was said, a certain monk said to the Blessed One, "Here is where I am ill at ease, lord, for I don't discern, as they actually are present, the origination, the passing away, the allure, the drawback, and the escape from the six spheres of contact."

"Then what do you think, monk. Do you regard that 'The eye is not mine. It is not my self. It is not what I am'?"

"Yes, lord."

"Very good, monk. When it is well-seen by you with right discernment that 'The eye is not mine. It is not my self. It is not what I am,' then the first sphere of contact will be abandoned by you, for the sake of no further becoming in the future.

"Do you regard that 'The ear is not mine... The nose is not mine... The tongue is not mine... The body is not mine...

"Do you regard that 'The intellect is not mine. It is not my self. It is not what I am'?"

"Yes, lord."

"Very good, monk. When it is well-seen by you with right discernment that 'The intellect is not mine. It is not my self. It is not what I am,' then the sixth sphere of contact will be abandoned by you, for the sake of no further becoming in the future.}

"Well then, Punna. Now that I have instructed you with a brief instruction, in which country are you going to live?"

"Lord, there is a country called Sunaparanta. I am going to live there."

"Punna, the Sunaparanta people are fierce. They are rough. If they insult and ridicule you, what will you think?"

"If they insult and ridicule me, I will think, 'These Sunaparanta people are civilized, very civilized, in that they don't hit me with their hands.' That is what I will think, O Blessed One. That is what I will think, O One Well-gone."

"But if they hit you with their hands, what will you think?"

"...I will think, 'These Sunaparanta people are civilized, very civilized, in that they don't hit me with a clod.'..."

"But if they hit you with a clod...?"

"...I will think, 'These Sunaparanta people are civilized, very civilized, in that they don't hit me with a stick.'..."

"But if they hit you with a stick...?"

"...I will think, 'These Sunaparanta people are civilized, very civilized, in that they don't hit me with a knife.'..."

"But if they hit you with a knife...?"

"...I will think, 'These Sunaparanta people are civilized, very civilized, in that they don't take my life with a sharp knife.'..."

"But if they take your life with a sharp knife...?"

"If they take my life with a sharp knife, I will think, 'There are disciples of the Blessed One who — horrified, humiliated, and disgusted by the body and by life — have sought for an assassin, but here I have met my assassin without searching for him.' [1] That is what I will think, O Blessed One. That is what I will think, O One Well-gone."

"Good, Punna, very good. Possessing such calm and self-control you are fit to dwell among the Sunaparantans. Now it is time to do as you see fit."

Then Ven. Punna, delighting and rejoicing in the Blessed One's words, rising from his seat, bowed down to the Blessed One and left, keeping him on his right side. Setting his dwelling in order and taking his robe and bowl, he set out for the Sunaparanta country and, after wandering stage by stage, he arrived there. There he lived. During that Rains retreat he established 500 male and 500 female lay followers in the practice, while he realized the three knowledges and then attained total (final) Unbinding.

Then a large number of monks went to the Blessed One and on arrival, having bowed down to him, sat to one side. As they were sitting there, they said to him, "Lord, the clansman named Punna, whom the Blessed One instructed with a brief instruction, has died. What is his destination? What is his future state?"

"Monks, the clansman Punna was wise. He practiced the Dhamma in accordance with the Dhamma and did not pester me with issues related to the Dhamma. The clansman Punna is totally unbound."
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Offline blazer

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Re: Gratitude toward 'enemies'
« Reply #7 on: February 10, 2023, 10:43:13 PM »
Will read carefully,
thank you

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